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| RE: Improvements to English version of manife [ Reply ] By: Vicente J. Ruiz Jurado on 2006-07-13 14:09 | [forum:887] |
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Thanks for your improvements... I've just modified the Englisht version of the Manifesto with all yours comments. One question, do you want some credit for your work? Answering to your question: > ourproject.org is also interested in supporting any other similar proposals that may already exist. In that moment we was searching actively for some initiative similar (without sucess) but even now, it's interesting to make links between other similar initiatives. Again, thanks for your comments, Vicente |
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| Improvements to English version of manifesto [ Reply ] By: Nobody on 2006-07-13 00:26 | [forum:886] |
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Spelling corrections: primarilly -> primarily acomplish -> accomplish propietary -> proprietary benefitial -> beneficial improbe -> improve traslate -> translate anway -> any way (in the context used, two words is better, because it's less american :) priviliges -> privileges accesible -> accessible objetives -> objectives althought -> although organizative -> one spelling: organizational, a better spelling: organisational wich -> which expresed -> expressed rewrited -> rewritten inspirated -> inspired parcially -> partially Some the changes below are to correct grammatical errors; others are just my recommendations for stylistic improvements: Because of this, ourproject.org does no intend to create a new philosophy, but instead use an already existing and highly successful philosophy. || \/ Therefore, ourproject.org does not intend to create a new philosophy, but instead adopt an already existing and highly successful one. The chosen method of communication used by those who participate or show interest in ourproject.org will primarilly be by Internet, b... || \/ The modes of communication chosen by those who participate or show interest in ourproject.org will primarily be via the Internet, b... The results achieved from the combined efforts of everyone must be available under free distribution license (read licenses section for more information). || \/ Change 'under free distribution' to 'under a free distribution' (if you say 'results achieved', then it normally implies some form of assessment or examination results, so this might be better:) The creative work resulting from everyone's combined effort must be made available ... ourproject.org is also interested in supporting any other similar proposals that may already exist. || \/ (I'm not sure exactly what this means. Are you saying that ourproject.org will support established projects, as well as new initiatives?) These programs, known as Software, have been created by one or more people through the writing of a source code, effectively, a language, which can be understood by both people and the computer. || \/ Change 'a source code' to simply 'source code' However, this kind of program, called propietary software, comes in a closed package, which has to be purchased in order to be used, and which cannot be copied nor freely distributed. || \/ (Given the context, I think there is confusion when you say 'this kind of program'. Perhaps this would be better:) However, some programs, called proprietary software, come in a closed package ... With this philosophy an Free Software Community was created. || \/ Change 'an' to 'a'. In order to translate the Free Software initiative to other fields in life, ourproject.org tries to make easier the cooperative work between people with similar interests about any content, by the use of the Internet as the main communication method, although no other media is to be discarded. || \/ My recommendations: Change 'make easier the' to 'facilitate'. Change 'content' to 'subject'. Change 'media' to the singular 'medium' ..OR.. Change 'media is' to 'media are'. Change 'discarded' to 'excluded'. In case that initiatives like ourproject.org existed, it would be reasonable to join and begin working together, because both of us would have the same objetives. || \/ In case other initiatives like ourproject.org exist, it would be reasonable to join forces, because ... The licenses of any project hosted by ourproject.org should be one of our approved licenses which permits the free (as in freedom) use, copy, distribution and modification of the knowledge generated in the projects. || \/ Change 'permits' to 'permit' (Also, I think the sentence would be more fluid if it started:) Any project hosted by ourproject.org should use one of our ... At the beginning, the ourproject.org initiative was created by a group of friends with similar interests, althought it is opened to any interested people. || \/ My recommendations: Change 'opened' to 'now open'. Change 'At the beginning' to 'Initially' This manifesto is inspirated parcially in the works of the Free Software Foundation (FSF) and the descentralized work in solitary or in groups of many other people. || \/ Change 'inspirated parcially in' to 'inspired partially by' Projects released under it respectives licenses. || \/ Projects are released under their respective licenses. |
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